Tuesday, March 30, 2010

I Would Never

...carry my dog in a purse or ask strangers for condoms or buy a $75 pair of underpants (even if they're red) or ask you what size you wear or poke your eyes out in old photos with a sharp pencil or answer the phone on even-numbered days or call your mother dirty names or paint my living room beige or eat donuts from the dumpster behind the strip mall or throw away a book, even if it's coming apart or tell wicked lies about your cat or sip bourbon from a man's tasseled loafer or fire a gun or join the marines or steal your mail or sneak a look at your paycheck or leave you behind to be eaten by zombies or swallow a bug on purpose or stop believing in ghosts or bury a body where somebody might find it or use water to put out a grease fire or skip breakfast to lose weight or wear a white shirt with armpit stains or argue with a physicist about how to survive a nuclear winter or become one of those people who is always trying to sell you stuff or say something I know is going to make you feel like shit unless you really, really had it coming.

7 comments:

mistivelvet said...

you inspired me with this so thank you muchly

SarahJane said...

this is so good to know! smile.
i'm inspired, too.

Susan said...

Thanks for reading Misti & Sara Jane!

Now & then, it's good to think about one's own personal moral code :)

CoffeeLovinMom said...

That last sentence says it all..I hope I never have it coming!

Susan said...

@Amy - Take comfort in the fact that under no circumstances would I ever, ever............tell wicked lies about your cat :)

Kathleen said...

Ah. I needed that. Thanks!

I find it very, very hard to throw away a book, too. But in my job I have encountered some terrible decay, crud, and biopredation (bookworms) in books. When necessary, tear off the cover, and recycle the pages!

Susan said...

Oh! I like the word "biopredation."

Nevertheless, I'm sure the bookworms themselves are unpleasant!

Perhaps the passing of an old book is less sad if the pages can be recycled....