Monday, October 24, 2016

It's My Leg-O-Versary!

Two years ago today my leg blew up to three times the normal size and it locked up in a straightened out position and I ended up in the ER with a monster elephant leg and they sent me home with an immobilizer and a shrug and some crutches and I didn't walk or drive or work for the next four months while bouncing back and forth between Orthopedists and Rheumatologists.  My leg still sucks every day but I am working and driving and walking without a cane so that's cool.

Happy Leg-O-Versary to me.

Monday, October 17, 2016

Random Things

Trying to get a few new poems or hybrid pieces written, but I have been a SLOW WRITER these days.  Too much going on and my mind is everywhere: thinking about the cruelties of time and old age and poor health and about getting my messy-ass house in order and what to cook that I can eat without GI symptoms and getting to all the doctor's appointments and going to work and still having fun and getting enough sleep and maybe baking some bread.

I have been looking over old blog entries and I realized that I am doing so much better than I was it's just that it happened so slowly... I am walking better and keeping food down and breathing okay so I am pretty good, yes?  Each day is different and unpredictable as yesterday I felt like I could hardly stand up and needed to lay down for a couple of hours after my shower because I was so exhausted and I didn't have the energy to dry my hair or do anything but today I feel okay.  So weird.

This week I made some pumpkin muffins topped with coarse sugar (autumnal!) and I made a big pan of stuffed pasta shells for my guys because they both work lots of nights and come home hungry and those reheat beautifully and now I would like to bake some cookies and make a fresh pot of soup.

I can (happily!) eat a muffin with no issues.  Yay, muffins!

I have even managed to cut back on the reflux meds which are correlated with all kinds of health problems like heart disease and kidney disease and dementia which is terrifying.

I am watching season 5 of Person of Interest and this show is so brilliant why doesn't anybody I know watch this one??!?

I have this dream life where I live in an isolated farm house and I keep chickens and I don't have to work retail and life is super peaceful and I read lots of books.  In this dream life I write books and of course I could write books in my real life but one still has to have a regular job because writing books  doesn't really pay all your bills but OH what a lovely idea.

Everyone at work is sick and at least two of my bosses have walking pnuemonia and I am thinking about finally buying a filter mask and wearing it to work even if it makes me look batshit insane because seriously, guys?!?

Nobody stays home when they are sick instead they choose to be patient zero and infect us all and bring on the zombie apocalypse.  

Thursday, October 13, 2016

messes and whatnot

Fourth Benlysta treatment completed on Tuesday! So, I had a very sweet young nurse do my IV and it was a bloody mess.  Blood was pouring out onto the tray and filling up the the IV and making a mess under the see-through bandage so she covered it with opaque band-aids and we both pretended it wasn't horrible.

She kept wiping it up saying: "Don't look.  Don't look!"  It's funnier now that it's over.

Good times.

I ordered another dress with monsters on it because I have no self-control.

This week's soup was Sweet Potato Bisque with Ginger!  I make a mean soup.

This week's insomnia binge-watch: Season 2 of iZombie.

Going to try and taper off Prednisone again. I am hoping it goes MUCH BETTER now that I have been on Benlysta for a couple of months.  So, so ready to be rid of my puffy face, etc.

Monday, October 10, 2016

message in a ginger ale bottle

Spending the day curled up with a mystery novel.  Too tired to move, yet I feel restless.  Working a 4 a.m. shift tomorrow (*dies*) followed by yet another doctor's appointment followed by an afternoon at the Infusion Center.  I'd like to sleep for a month.  Please send gingerbread and a heated blanket.


Friday, October 7, 2016

bad days, darklings

Monster flare up this week.  Shaky, exhausted and in a significant amount of pain.  Ugh.

Maybe the stress of moving my mom and dad triggered it?

Taking a self-care day.  I made a pot of fancy Irish Breakfast Tea and good toast with honey and I painted my toes a super goth shade of dark purple even though my hands are way too unsteady and I had to wipe off all the smears with 4 Q-tips.  Thank the holy dog it's not a work day because I would be useless.

Reading Elizabeth George's A Banquet of Consequences which has a Terrible Title but so far the book is quite good.

Current Mood: 

Thursday, October 6, 2016

Flare days and life, such as it is

After a couple of weeks of feeling pretty good, this last week has been kind of rough.  Lots of joint pain and GI symptoms.  Feeling exhausted and short of breath again today.  Alas!  I was beginning to hope this would be a thing of the past, but that was unrealistic.

I pushed through today.  Made it to work and made it through the day but it was such a relief to get home and rest!  I wanted to do some writing, but I don't think I'm feeling it.

I have my fourth Benlysta infusion next week. Maybe this will get me back on track?

We're moving my parents to a closer facility and I am hopeful that I will be better able to keep an eye on things.  It's stressful though.  Perhaps the combination of that and the bad weather are kicking my ass this week.

Spent last weekend in Wisconsin with my guys, which was lovely.  I did have a tough time with not feeling well but I still enjoyed myself and it's always good to be with my family, even if I can't quite keep up.  I found a little tea shop on a rainy day and bought some loose leaf tea and a new infuser mug in bright red which makes me super-happy!

Reading: Just finished Joe Hill's The Fireman because I love a good plague/apocalypse.

Watching: Season 5 of Person of Interest, American Horror Story Season 6: Roanoke.  I also checked out the pilot episode of Westworld on HBO.

Cooking: Not so much.  Meh. I was on a bread baking kick earlier though.  I made a pretty nice vegan sandwich bread with oatmeal and brown sugar.   And baguettes! I might get back to my happy baking once I'm feeling a bit more energetic.

Dreaming: I dreamt I was at a poetry reading and a fight broke out between a gorilla and a chimpanzee.  That is all.

Friday, September 16, 2016

Fairy tales for Grown Ups

Once there was a woman who was really a crow, or perhaps a jackdaw.  She knew where you hid your gold rings, your freshly baked bread.  Darkling, darling, darkwing.  On bad days, she was all beak: sharp and full of worms.  What of avian games?  The balancing of sticks and sliding down on slick branches?  If she lost all her blue-black feathers, would she be trapped in human form? Her bones remain, simultaneously hollow and heavy.  There is a story hidden in her joints and tendons, one of flight and lodestone and shiny red berries.

 She will never be content to carry your messages.