Saturday, June 18, 2016

Block, writerly and otherwise.

I don't know if anyone else has had such a long hiatus from writing regularly as I have, but it is so much harder to be creative once you are out of the habit.  I have enough time to make this a part of the daily ritual, but sometimes the energy is just lacking.  I am trying to read more for inspiration, and watch less television (which is, admittedly, my downfall).

I did write a small piece today, although I am not crazy about it.  Now to let it rest for a day or two and go back to revise.

The house is quiet today. Everyone is out doing their thing and I was feeling the usual trifecta of pain, nausea and fatigue this morning so I took a pass on being out and about.  Ninety degree weather doesn't help much, and a day in the sun is really just asking for a flare up.  My leg is already stiffening up because we are tapering off prednisone again.  It's like flipping a damn switch.  I've already lost significant range of motion.  It's a bummer.

Reading: City of Dark Magic and The Sisters Brothers

Yes, I often read more than one book at the same time.

Watching: I just finished Slasher on Netflix.

Otherwise, life remains as ordinary as ever.

Sunday, June 12, 2016

Healthier Days!

I can't believe it's been a month since I've posted here, but it has been a pretty good month, at that.

The best thing is there has been significant improvement in my GI symptoms and I am keeping down small meals of solid food, which is amazing!  I am by no means totally normal in terms of my digestive tract function but it's nice to be eating more normally. I still have gastroparesis but it seems to have quieted in intensity and as long as I am careful, I can have days free of nausea and vomiting and still eat solid food.   I've even added a few foods back into my diet (albeit in moderation).  Hopefully this will continue. I even gained two pounds! I think we can stop talking about the possibility of needing a J-tube, which I really, really did not want to do.  If I can continue to manage with a modified diet, I'm in good shape.

Y'all know how I love to eat.

I am also tapering off Prednisone, so we'll see how that goes.  My leg with probably swell up like a mofo again.

I've read a whole bunch of books in the last month.  I just finished the third book in the Passage Trilogy, City of Mirrors. In some ways, the series reminds me a bit of Stephen King's The Stand. 

It's more about the apocalypse than vampires, really.  I buzzed through it in a couple of days.

I am feeling kind of blue about all the things I used to do, but I'll power through it.  Sometimes I feel shitty about working part-time.  I know I feel *physically* better now that I have prioritized balancing work and rest, but we live in a work-till-you-drop-even-if-it-fucking-kills-you culture and there's some guilt I'm dealing with, honestly.  My house isn't really up to my standards, either.  I start cleaning and then I get exhausted and shaky and I have to stop and rest, which is totally lame.  It took me three tries to wash a load of dishes the other day.  Getting better is such a long, hard road.  

I think it's been hard to write due to this lingering depression.  The drive to work on creative projects just isn't there anymore.  Mostly, I want to mentally check out by reading or watching movies instead of making art.  Not quite sure how to turn it around.  I think getting involved with a writing group might help.  It would sort of force me to have things done by a deadline and also I really need to reconnect with the writing community.

#chroniclife, am I right?!?