Sunday, February 28, 2010

Blog Post In Which I Wax Ecstatic About Erotic Paper Dolls

I just Googled the question "What's the plural of dominatrix?" because I believe that accuracy is important. I believe a latinate vocabulary will make you admire my elevated diction, and you'll think I'm really smart. I'm not as smart as Google though. Google knows everything.

Apparently, the plural of dominatrix is dominatrices. You'll see why this is important if you read on.


I woke up at 8 this morning and made Belgian waffles with strawberries and powdered sugar and had cafe au lait and just generally lazed about. I might have dreamt something in the wee hours but I can't remember. Too much joy juice last night, but no hangover today. This might be a bad sign. I might have an addictive personality. I shouldn't mix two-buck chuck with PBR, but I'm a gambler at heart. I'm also Irish.

The readings with Oyez Review and Artifice Magazine this weekend were funny and fierce and populated by delightful people.

I've decided I love Quimby's because they sell erotic paper dolls that look like dominatrices and all kinds of gothica and esoteric bits of poetic flotsam that I would totally buy if I were not hella broke. I could browse there forever if I didn't have to worry about the parking meter box. I met some of the coolest-ever MFA students from Roosevelt, whose enthusiasm for the literary arts made me happy. I signed my poems and felt kinda groovy. Here's a photo of some of the Oyez Review contributors, all of them wonderful. From left to right: Okla, Susan (ahem), Alex, Lydia.

Yeah. I stole the picture from facebook. I'm sure that's cool. Probably.

I also love Quimby's because they had a handful of An Introduction to the Archetypes. It's surreal to browse the shelves in a bookstore and find one's own work for sale. Still, those dominatrix paper dolls were glorious and I cannot stop thinking about them. There was one called Miss Masturbation and I had to fight the urge to chortle because I was imagining the women of Camazotz (aka The Town Where I Reside aka Proof that Sartre Was Right about Hell) popping into a bookstore with their terrifyingly clonelike blonde Village of the Damned offspring in tow and freaking out that such a thing should be visibly displayed. This shouldn't make me smile so, but oh! It does.

I have a tendency to be absurd. Ignore me.

Last night I read with a bunch of cool cats from Artifice Magazine at Loft 3a. The writers and editors and artists and partygoers were all lively and talented. People wore stylish clothes and I probably looked toadlike and felt such total admiration for everyone. I'm sure I was silly. I read poems about cyborgs. Cyborgs are cooler than scary alien children, but only by a slim margin. I took a bunch of pictures because the people were so freaking beautiful. I haven't posted them yet because my camera takes forever to transfer files and I'm feeling twitchy. Soon. I promise.

Tadd and Rebekah are brilliant. Artifice is dead nuts on. It's thrilling to be in the very first issue which is chock full of crazy fabulousity. You should order one. Or two. Like, here.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Random Headspace


What I really need is a vague government job where I would show up for twenty-five years, alphabetize the universe, and collect a tiny pension. Then I would retire to a crackerbox log cabin up in the mountains and grow my own food and make those funky little mozzarella cheese braids and drive down into the valley every week and sell them to the tourists. I would read new books and re-read old books. I would have a wood-burning stove, two highly protective German Shepherds and one Teacup Yorkie. This is my retirement plan.

What I really need is to eschew this whole internet thing, or perhaps electricity altogether. But I like movies. I can't watch movies without electricity. Maybe I need to generate it myself with a sleek row of windmills. I am going ration computer time for my inner adolescent, who has no concept of excess. She needs to spend more time out of doors, but is prone to sunburn and heat exhaustion. Right now, she wants some popcorn with sugar and butter and coarse salt. Not that microwave shit either. Real popcorn.

What I really need is for someone to tell me why this is the way it is. Why this is necessary. Why this polarity exists. I'm sure this has something to do with birth order or biorhythms or the wine my mother drank in her first trimester of pregnancy.

What I really need is to become more skilled in my use of anaphora.

What I really need is old fashioned Freudian psychotherapy.

What I really need is to return you to our regularly scheduled programming.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Where I'll be (reading) this weekend...

This weekend is going to be chock-full of literary goodness, so if you live in the Chicago area and want to get your poem (or prose) on, you should check out the following events:

Oyez Review #37 Launch Reading

Friday, February 26, 2010
7:00 - 8:00 pm
1854 W. North Ave
Chicago, IL

Oyez Review, Roosevelt University’s literary magazine, will be holding its second reading of the year to celebrate the release of our latest issue: 37. Several contributors will be reading their pieces from the issue as well as other material. Come hang with us for a while and enjoy the super awesome work from these super awesome writers:

Lydia Cesarz, author of “PS,”

Okla Elliott, author of “The Preacher Considers How Adam Pissed in the Garden” and “Mannheim, Germany
Phone Booth in the Turkish District,”

Susan Slaviero, author of “Hell Mary,” “Trinitas,” and “Fetch,”

and Alexander York, author of “He’s Got Spaghetti All Over His Face” and “White Walls.”

Hope to see you there!

Artifice Issue #1 Release Party

Saturday, February 27, 2010
7:00 pm
Loft 3A
3036 N. Lincoln
Chicago, IL

It's a fundraiser! There's a $10 suggested donation at the door!

Readings by Issue 1 Authors:

A staged reading of "Police Procedural" by Andrew Farkas, which appears in Issue 1, featuring the voice talents of:

A gallery show of screenprints from artists affiliated with Spudnik Press, which illustrate and draw inspiration from pieces in Issue 1, including work by:

The unveiling of a limited edition of ISSUE 1 ILLUSTRATED SPECIAL EDITIONS!

And - DJ Brett Randle will spin funk and soul starting around 10:30 pm.

See more at


Literature. Art. General Coolness.

I cannot think of a finer way to spend your weekend.

Hope to see you there!!

Friday, February 19, 2010


So, I am in the midst of revamping my blog...(and website, which hasn't been updated in well over a year, probably much longer. It's embarrassing!) Sometimes I get swamped, but I'm probably just lazy. Anyway, it's been bugging me forever, so I'm hoping to dedicate some time to making things pretty, removing outdated links, and all that jazz.

Did I lose you from my blogroll? Fear not. I am rebuilding it, which takes a bit of time.

Also: I have a new poem online at Up the Staircase, along with the lovely and talented Arlene Ang and lots of other fabulous writers! Visit. Climb. Read.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Blog Post in Which I Give You Snippets of Conversations You Would Overhear at my House

"Those people at Monsanto make the Disney Corporation look like Quakers."

"If there's not a dead body in it, I'm not interested."

"Your shoveling skills have inspired me to fix the snowblower."

"I'm thinking of applying for a job as a Census taker. I hope I don't run into Hannibal Lecter."

"I know it's true. Jesse Ventura told me."

"It's like Oscar Wilde trying to carry on a conversation with Homer Simpson."

Monday, February 1, 2010

We're Live!

The winter issue is now available online!

We're featuring Molly Gaudry's digital chapbook, Anatomy for the Artist.

We've also got some brand-spanking-new submission guidelines, so be sure to check them out!!