I am thinking about the nature of solitude and wondering if it is quite normal that I don't like to go out too much or talk on the phone at all but prefer to send people goodies in the mail or little random text notes for fun. I am not hypersocial, admittedly. Sometimes, people describe their social lives and I think that sounds exhausting.
I don't want anyone to call me at 10 p.m. and ask me if I want to go out because I probably don't. I want to wear my pajamas and watch movies by myself and maybe scatter some poems out on the floor and put them in some sort of meaningful order. I want to bake elaborate cakes while listening to Nirvana or Bob Marley or maybe Simon & Garfunkel because it reminds me of my childhood. I want to fold towels and putter about the house and rearrange my bookshelves. I don't want to gossip or hang out in bars except perhaps once in while especially if there will be poetry or dancing.
I like to shop alone, eat lunch alone, watch movies alone. There is a small list of people whose company I really enjoy, but that's a sometimes thing. Does anybody else like to do things by themselves? Am I a total crabass or something? I don't mean to be.
I AM looking forward to the Poetry Brothel next weekend because the people there will be awesome and many of us come not as real people but as alter egos, personae. I love this shit. I wish I had an actual MASK or something.
The new manuscript is getting all cross-genre, flash-fiction and whatnot. I'm totally excited about this. I want to write noir-ish crime stories and drink bourbon from a flask. I want to wear a fedora at my desk. I want a black cat named Ghost and a mysterious neighbor that will involve me in some kind of dramatic intrigue.
Things that just don't interest me but seem to fascinate everyone else:
Other People's Romances
Other People's Vacations
Strangers with Babies
(It's totally cool that most people like things from the aforementioned list. This is not, by any means, a criticism. Just an observation.)
Things that do interest me that nobody wants to talk about:
Exotic Teas and Spices
Foreign Horror Films
Words People Never Use in Conversation, But Should
The Evolution of Chuck Norris as a Popular Internet Trope
1 day ago