Friday, February 10, 2017

Sick life, quitting, and starting over

Every February I am sick, sick, sick.  Meh.

In addition to this crap cold my immune system (pissed off by this virus, I'm sure) is in overdrive and my joints are swollen and the roof of my mouth is covered with sores so I feel like garbage.

Soooooo, at least I don't have to drag myself to work because I QUIT MY JOB, YO.

My body couldn't take it anymore.

It's not worth getting up in the middle of the night to start work at 4 or 5 a.m. limping and barfing and suffering from headaches and blurred vision and all that business.  I realize I'm very lucky to be in a position to take some time off and get healthier.  I plan to work on a couple of book projects while also doing everything I can to get as well as possible.  I used to freelance before it became necessary to take a retail job for the reliable income and I'm hoping to get back to that, if I can.

My last day was a week ago.  I thought I might be sad but I am not sad at all just so, so relieved to be able to slow down a little.  My first week at home wasn't very productive.  My last couple of days of work were really, really rough with huge problems and extra work due to a number or issues with staffing problems and untrained people messing around with stuff they shouldn't touch.  I was stuck there for 11 hours (I was supposed to be working short shifts) and this kind of thing was becoming a pattern.  NOT OKAY.

I couldn't walk for two days after that because my leg was so swollen and painful.  This was followed by the sores and fevers/chills.  After that, I got slammed with this monster cold.  It is an endless cycle of pushing myself and collapsing.  Hopefully, that's going to change.

My main goals are to get healthier, spend more time with my mom and dad, and to write.

For all my frustrations, I am doing better.  Two years ago, Lupus attacked my heart and I was in the hospital where I contracted multiple infections, getting sicker and sicker.  I developed fevers so high they reached 105 and my body would go into uncontrollable spasms.  It was horrible.

So this cold and minor flare?  Kid stuff.

Looking forward to better days!