1.) People are bat-shit crazy. Not me, though. I'm fine.
2.) I bought my first ever jar of Nutella and ate it with graham crackers and wasn't terribly impressed.
3.) Yesterday I found a star in my shoe and it was irritating the arch of my foot so I stomped on it and darkened the universe just a little.
4.) My printer is possessed by evil spirits. It makes spitting noises at me in the middle of the night.
5.) Dried blueberries are ever so much better than fat juicy ones in muffins and scones. I hate the texture of large, wet pieces of fruit in my breadstuffs.
6.) Once, there was a pretty little chapel in my head and I kept it clean and swept and well-lit. It has fallen into disrepair and is now overrun with chimeras and large angry spiders. I like it better this way.
You have been hot and miserable. I shall not miss you. You are a succubus with fiery hair that sucks the breath out of my lungs and blows hot cinders into my eyes so they itch and itch and itch. Prepare for banishment, albeit temporary.
1 day ago