1.) I wish I were a wicked queen & I could order anyone who annoys me to do battle with a velociraptor. Of course they would be eaten, more or less immediately.
2.) I wish I had a couple of days to myself. I would wear pajamas & eat chocolate cake & watch David Lynch movies until my head implodes.
3.) I wish I could remake the world into a black & white movie & I could be a femme fatale in a slinky dress with a cigarette in a long holder. Intriguing characters would sip champagne & there would be witty banter & quite possibly a murder which would be solved by my wisecracking love interest. He might have a fedora, but this isn't entirely necessary.
Every day I forget myself just a bit more & more until my limbs flicker & fade all ghostlike and full of static. Sometimes I look down & see a mosquito bite & remember I am actually alive. This house is very hot & it's quite possible my brain has been poached by the high temperature. I have decided that when my time is my own, I will be more selective about how I spend it. This is probably unrealistic. I put up with far too many unnecessary aggravations in the form of mean- spirited automata masquerading as humans. There must be some method of gracefully removing myself from such situations. Sometimes it feels as if I have no place to hide.
Regardless of these anti-social impulses, I am feeling fortunate because I am in contact with a number of wonderful people who do not mind that I am kind of a dirty hippie & sometimes the house is dusty and the grass needs to be mowed and my hair is a mess because I am reading a book or making bread or napping on the sofa. I save being meticulous for the things that happen in my head. I am very good at not fitting in. This causes a certain amount of antipathy in this particular dimension, but fortunately, it's only about half the time. Well, maybe three-quarters, but I'm in no mood to split hairs.
notes & things | 7/15/2018
48 minutes ago