Tuesday, April 12, 2016
Ever feel like you are a total weirdo and nobody understands you?
Still suffering from prednisone insomnia so I spent last night curled up on my complex pillow configuration watching horror movies on my tablet and I watched an Irish movie set in a rural wood full of evil fairies that steal babies and turn you into some kind of demon tree thing if they scratch you and this dude got stabbed in the eye by a banshee or whatever and then he had a creepy almost cyborgian devil eye and it made my eyes water. Oh, (spoiler alert!) there's a scene where a fairy changeling baby sort of explodes at the end, too. I don't know why I think this kind of thing will help me sleep but I never claimed to be completely logical.
I felt pretty good yesterday and had very little pain and could walk almost normally and whenever I have a day like that I think oh, maybe this is over and I am fine now but of course that is kind of naive and then I overdo it and work a 9 1/2 hour day and come home and clean up the house a bit and make dinner and then I'm all like oh, now I am hurting and cannot get comfortable and I remember that my body has limits even on its best days.
I am being a total psycho about my weight which has creeped up by a pound and a half in the last few days due to steroid treatments and while I know I've lost a huge amount of weight due to gastroparesis I still worry about gaining it back even though it would be okay it feels terrifying because after 8 months of *PREDNISONE* I was borderline obese and don't want to deal with that even though I lost so much from being ill and it's just completely dysfunctional.
Today is a designated writing day! So, tea & poems.
Reading: Let's Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny Lawson. There's a chapter about working in HR that made me die. It's totally snort-worthy.
Watching: Random Horror Movies. See above.
Cooking: Today There Will Be Soup. I am thinking perhaps tomato soup with tortellini and spinach. This may or may not happen.
Burying: the bodies, but only fictional ones.