I am in this awful place where I cannot make decisions such as whether to go to the library on my day off or whether to eat cheese & spinach ravioli or grilled swiss on bakery rye or what book to read next or what movie I want to watch. Mostly I work & I sleep & I dream about malevolent witches which give me cool ideas for short fiction stories that won't ever be written, at least not by me. My allergies are insane & it feels like my eyes are itching to crawl out of their sockets. This humidity leaves me looking very frizzy which reminds me hey it's summer & I haven't really done anything particularly awesome like throw a party where we burn citronella candles and drink beer out of coolers filled with ice and watch fireflies. I have, however, brewed one helluva lot of iced tea. I am going to see The Sins of Sor Juana at the Goodman on Saturday. I'm looking forward to this.
How do all the normal people keep their lives in order? My floors are perpetually dirty & all I really want to do is bake chocolate cake and read random books I pull from my shelves when I should be paying bills & going to the bank & to the post office & making phone calls. The next four days are going to be mad-busy but after that I think it will all slow down for a minute. I keep pushing back my self-imposed deadlines & this is a bad thing, but necessary.
I am chipping away at it all with Sisyphean determination.
It's possible that I am simply mired in some kind of hormonal funk & it will pass. I am impulsive. I bought a plaid shirt yesterday because I can picture myself wearing it around the house while making spicy gumbo & biscuits. What can I say? I am not even remotely glamorous.
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Reading:
Pretty Monsters by Kelly Link
Night Songs by Kristina Marie Darling
Watching:
True Blood, Season 2
the final stretch
3 days ago
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