I can't believe it's been a month since I've posted here, but it has been a pretty good month, at that.
The best thing is there has been significant improvement in my GI symptoms and I am keeping down small meals of solid food, which is amazing! I am by no means totally normal in terms of my digestive tract function but it's nice to be eating more normally. I still have gastroparesis but it seems to have quieted in intensity and as long as I am careful, I can have days free of nausea and vomiting and still eat solid food. I've even added a few foods back into my diet (albeit in moderation). Hopefully this will continue. I even gained two pounds! I think we can stop talking about the possibility of needing a J-tube, which I really, really did not want to do. If I can continue to manage with a modified diet, I'm in good shape.
Y'all know how I love to eat.
I am also tapering off Prednisone, so we'll see how that goes. My leg with probably swell up like a mofo again.
I've read a whole bunch of books in the last month. I just finished the third book in the Passage Trilogy, City of Mirrors. In some ways, the series reminds me a bit of Stephen King's The Stand.
It's more about the apocalypse than vampires, really. I buzzed through it in a couple of days.
I am feeling kind of blue about all the things I used to do, but I'll power through it. Sometimes I feel shitty about working part-time. I know I feel *physically* better now that I have prioritized balancing work and rest, but we live in a work-till-you-drop-even-if-it-fucking-kills-you culture and there's some guilt I'm dealing with, honestly. My house isn't really up to my standards, either. I start cleaning and then I get exhausted and shaky and I have to stop and rest, which is totally lame. It took me three tries to wash a load of dishes the other day. Getting better is such a long, hard road.
I think it's been hard to write due to this lingering depression. The drive to work on creative projects just isn't there anymore. Mostly, I want to mentally check out by reading or watching movies instead of making art. Not quite sure how to turn it around. I think getting involved with a writing group might help. It would sort of force me to have things done by a deadline and also I really need to reconnect with the writing community.
#chroniclife, am I right?!?
Me, mid-July 2018
2 days ago